Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Filling you in

warning... long post ahead...

For some time now I have been promising an update on my "life".  I hate that it has taken this long for me to share but I think in the back of my mind I was trying to escape some part of the reality of the whole situation, hoping that parts of it would change.  Its not that I am not excited about the changes or anything like that so those of you who know me (and already know the news) please do not take it that way.  I am very excited about the upcoming change but please know this is not an easy time in my life.  Change has not always been a difficult thing for  me but leaving the place that you have called home for over 16 years, walking away from the first home that you purchased, along with many friends, and tons of other great things, is not something that has come easy for me this go-round.  Again, please do not take this as an insult to those of you whom we are heading towards.
Please remember, this is my blog to post updates on my life from my perspective and please do not judge me for my own thoughts or opinions (not that I think you will) I just really do not want this post to be taken the wrong way.  These feelings are my own  and have been cluttering my mind for some time now so I hope that putting them "on paper," and "out in the open" will free me from some emotional baggage that I have been holding on to.
Enough of that-- lets share my life update why don't we!? :)

First of all, as most of you know, K & I found out back in February that we were expecting our very first child! {YAY!!!!}  We were filled with joy and excitement but were also nervous of all that was to come (as I'm sure is  very normal).  We debated for a couple of weeks days (maybe felt like weeks) whether or not we should share the news or keep it our secret until we were a little further along, had seen a doctor, and yadda yadda.  Well, most of you who know me know that I can't keep quiet for long when I am excited about something and come to find out, it wasn't easy for K either.  So within a couple of days (not sure of the exact time-line-- would have to check my journal) we called our parents, siblings, and the rest of our family.  They all shared in our joy!  Well, when I called to tell my mom and step-dad the news, they were in Mississippi because my dad was  interviewing for a new job there.  My mom and step-dad have lived here in TX for the past 16+ years in the same home (where I lived from 5th grade until post college-- but I still "go home" to visit), just hours away from where K & I live now.  It was very hard to share the news with them without disrupting their thoughts about whether or not to move but I should know my parents better than that- they have great smart heads on their shoulders and hearts that follow and serve God and his plans for their lives.  They were overjoyed for us and made little of their "job" situation and their choice to move- or not to move (to us ;) ).  Following Gods will for them they decided that God was leading them to take the job in MS and within a few weeks my step-dad was on his way... without focusing too much on their lives basically for me that means kissing the home I grew up in goodbye- as well as them (so to speak).  They were the most local family that K & I have here in TX.

A couple of weeks later the news starts surrounding the teachers here in TX and the "budget cuts" that the state going to be pushing out.  I prayed of course that I would not be effected but God kept telling me and preparing me that I was no longer going to have my job.  Through songs, scripture, and just speaking to me, I knew in my heart and was prepared (as prepared as one can be) for the inevitable.  Our district did a great job trying to keep us in the loop and making us feel loved through the process and thankfully, I was surrounded by people that encouraged me and made me remember what was really important in life- faith and family.  Sometime in April I found out that I was one of the many who would in fact be laid off. It was still difficult to face even though I had prepared for it for weeks-- I did have a peace about it all though.

At this point, K & I had discussed the possibility of this happening and he wanted to be near family when we had this baby and with the loss of my job he wanted more for us to head back to our roots-- NC-- where we have lots of family.  I think at this point he had decided in his mind that we were moving but in my mind it still wasn't something I wanted to do so I avoided the thought of it.

As time went on things definitely did not get any easier, in fact I was forced to face the reality of things *that I had been avoiding for awhile*.  We were forced with the decision  of whether to stay here in TX (without any family near-by) or move to NC where we would have a little more family support.

Up until a couple of weeks ago, in my mind, I still was planning on staying and really just avoiding any conversations about plans all together.  I had not felt a peace about moving and quite frankly didn't want to move at all. I am comfortable here and I was not ready to trust God in taking us where he wanted us.  I did not want to deal with "all the details..." (such as what to do with our house).

Well, finally the time came to make a decision and K & I decided that we should probably move to NC.  K had the great opportunity to work at a Boy Scouts of America camp that he has worked at for several years, and this year my brother as well as his dad would also be working there.  He decided that if he were to do summer camp then we would not be coming back to TX which is what we decided to do.  He and I are both very excited that he will have the opportunity to work at camp this summer!

So here we are, the first day of summer for me, K has finished his work at his company here, and in a couple of days we will be moving!   We are very excited about the new adventures and can not wait to see what God has in store for us these next few months (and years of course) of our lives!  I truly feel that God has opened doors for us to be able to make this move and I can not wait to be near some family that I have not lived near in  many many years and getting to spend more time with them!! K's family and my stepmom live about 8 miles away from each other (isn't that great that we never knew each other growing up even though we went to the same schools!?), and many of my extended family lives just as close-- including my grandaddy, and aunts, uncles, and cousins.  My mom's family lives just a couple of hours away as well.  I can not wait to spend more time with them also.  My aunt (love you auntie!) has a wonderful condo that she has been trying to sell and recently took off the market so that we would have a place to live (so grateful!). My whole life I have wanted to move back to NC but I just never knew it would be when  I was 5 months pregnant with our first child, right after I got laid off from my first teaching job and was forced to say goodbye to the best job and kids I have ever known, and in  the middle of me having to say goodbye to the family I have lived near forever, and the house I grew up, and packing up the first home that I have ever owned.  Wheph!! That is a lot if you ask me!

So with all of that being said, if I don't react in the way you want or  expect me to-- please remember that I am filled with joy in our upcoming adventures but that I am also human.  And pregnant.  Think hormones here-- yeah as if that wouldn't be enough of an emotion roller-coaster for a non pregnant woman think of how my hormones are raging right now.
Please give me patience during this time and please be more understanding than you would normally be with me.  Please do not be surprised if I am not 100% happy-go-lucky about this whole process.  I am trying to take a day at a time and remember that I can NOT mess up God's desire and plan for our lives.  

K & I love each of you VERY much !!!!!!  We trust that God will sustain us and provide for us as he always has!  We are so blessed that we have so many people in our lives that love and care about us!! And anyways... isn't it true that "Home is where the heart is"!?  We love you all!



{thanks for making it through the longest post on earth... if you did ha!}

3 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh..I TOTALLY understand all of your emotions with this move!!! My husband leaves tomorrow for training in Georgia and will be there until September. (I'm staying in Texas for the summer)

    In July I will travel out to DC to house hunt and will hopefully find something...I will *hopefully* move in August/Early September to our new house...6-7 months pregnant! This move means leaving both of our families behind..AND having the baby out there...but we know it's God's plan for us and we can handle it! You and your hubby are so lucky to be moving near family!!! I will be thinking and praying for you guys as you move!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow! That is "great" news, but I can understand your hesitations and emotions through it all. Where in NC? We're in Wilmington for a year, then heading back inland to Chapel Hill. If you're nearby we'll have to plan a meet-up :) Best of luck with the move - praying for you two!

    ReplyDelete
  3. aww allie! i am both sad and excited for you to leave texas! i know good things are on deck for you and your husband and i wish yall all the luck in the world!! keep in touch! :)

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...